the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
