i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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