Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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