College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
