What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
