All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
