tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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