i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize