Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize