I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
