gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
