I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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