Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
