I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The air taste purple.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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