I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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