I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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