then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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