dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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