well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
