problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
