your thong is hanging out like whoa
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
