So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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