Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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