ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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