Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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