I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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