Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish i was in the wii world.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
