Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i believe in u and ur pee
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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