I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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