My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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