I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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