? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
