I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
