who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
