What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
