I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
