i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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