So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize