sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize