using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
