Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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