I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
