I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
