dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
