He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
