Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
