She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize