Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
