The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
