How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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