VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
