I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
