So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dicks are not precious.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize