can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
