I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
