I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
