At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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