either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
