Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
