She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My vagina is officially offended.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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