I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
