3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
