that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
