i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
